


The Day We Felt the Distance

by flickeringheartbeat



Series: Her Cassette Stories [2]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: :), Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Gen, Kim and Irene are reader's irls, major angst im sorry, nct au, read at your own risk people!, reader is a free-spirited lady, some sprinkles of angst, taeyong is a softie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-07
Updated: 2018-07-07
Packaged: 2019-05-31 05:35:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,448
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15112883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flickeringheartbeat/pseuds/flickeringheartbeat
Summary: Song #2: The Day We Felt the Distance - Kyuhyun'They' almost happened.





	The Day We Felt the Distance

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there, this is my first nctxreader au work and I was just getting into the world of NCT, also I've read some au scenarios from nctzen writers which made me move to write this! This needs to be edited further and you can drop your constructive criticisms on the comments :) the concept of the plot has somewhat happened in real life so let me know how you feel after reading the story. Thank you!

_Her_

 

She woke up from the heat of the sun creeping on her body as it starts to create moisture on her skin. Hovering herself to the side, she saw her hand-outs in Thermodynamics scattered perfectly beside her, leaving her frozen on position.

 

They say there's a fourth law of motion and that is: a student remains stationary in one's position, unless acted upon by sudden realization that exams are going to happen in less than an hour.

 

If her speed of getting up from her bed was to be compared from the speed of light, someone could tell that they're relatively similar. Thanks to her midterm exam in thermodynamics, she was able to get up from her bed despite from the fact that her bed’s gravitational force is massive (which is according to her), and sped up to prop herself before the exam starts. She rushed to the university just with her calculator, a table for the thermodynamic properties which is totally useful for the said exam, and a ballpen with a close-to-dying tip. "Fuck, this is not gonna happen again," she muttered to herself as she made her way to the school of engineering's building.

 

Luckily, as she arrived in the room, everyone's eyes are fixated to their handouts and dramatically smashing the buttons of their calculator God knows when they will get a correct answer to their practice problems. She could feel her heart beating rapidly as if it's bound to tear her chest's skin due to a limited area of its excessive beating. Their professor arrived a couple of minutes after and immediately started the examination.

 

 

Most of the students barged out the room frowning but she begged to differ. She fist-pumped knowing that she answered two out of four questions correctly and since she only got three classes today, which includes the exam, she went to the library to rest for a while. It was a tough midterm and much to her surprise, she managed to answer at least two problems.

 

Hallways are mildly placid at Thursdays that's why she didn't feel bothered by the hushed noise from other students when she passed by, until a flyer caught her attention.

 

" **Symphony: A Dance for Cause** "

 

The flyer was posted on the school of sciences event corner and it made her curiosity grow, thinking what department might have displayed it there. She mentally noted the details for the event, and instead of inquiring the event's details to school of sciences she decided to stay in the library to rest.

 

She was unaware that the event is free from ticket charges inclusive for the said school's students only. Hopefully she may be able to buy a ticket due to the fact that there were a lot of good-looking people who were undeniably good in dancing from school of sciences.

 

-

 

After her last period finished, she went straight to the dorms to keep her things and changed her apparel for tonight's cause event promoted by school of sciences. Her roommates were out for tonight, leaving her the only one in their room. She wore her favorite department shirt of theirs and baggy pants so that she can drift to sleep after watching the performance.

 

 

The university's quadrangle was packed and she can feel the sudden attack bottling up inside her as she saw them lining up to pay.

 

Note: She didn't bring her money.

 

Of course, she has to go back to the dorms so she can pay and watch the show. She couldn't even think of a way on how to get there inside because for the second time, the university's ground had witnessed her cramming marathon, praying to the gods that she needs to be stopped.

 

\--

 

She arrived at the quadrangle with less people queuing, her hopes for being able to get a ticket have revived and fortunately she got one. Most of the audiences have riled up beside the stage so they could see their crushes performing for them when it was actually for something related to their field. Additional to that, some of them came in groups, making her as one of the few loners among the audience.

 

She went to the most vacant space and placed her shawl so she can cross her legs, waiting for the performance to start. Later, a host came on stage and started the program.

 

\--

 

To think that those students came from courses whose life depends on the marvels of human and animal body, studying the cure of the impurities, performing to perfect them in laboratories, but were able to perform such a powerful and crowd-striking performance, has amazed her just as she arrived at the porch of the university's dormitory. There was one contemporary dance performance that almost made her drenched in tears but what she will never forget was the guy who performed dubstep that had swooned the audience, including her.

 

Not that he only dances with power, accuracy and grace, bonus was he looked like a crafted human being from the gods, and that made her think about it throughout the night, even if she had already plotted her sleeping plans before she arrived at the quadrangle.

 

She was in a reverie for some time until someone knocks, _her roommates have finally arrived_. She opened the door, revealing her two roommates Kim and Irene who were both from school of arts, them shaking her shoulders as their voices were etched with giddiness.

 

"I swear you'll regret why you didn't pay to go outside and watch the cause event!" Irene exclaims, obvious that she immediately went to the event without stopping at dorms.

 

The sleepless latter just smiled, aware of what her roommate was talking about. "I went to Symphony though." She simply answered.

 

Both of her roommates were shocked and was shifted to a pinch of betrayal look on their faces. "You should've joined us! It would be better if we screamed together just in front of them."

 

She only chuckled, but deep inside she was dying to tell them about that excruciatingly handsome guy who performed a dubstep.

 

But she was thankful to fate, because Kim opened up about him. "Guys! Have you seen that boy from vet science department performing the dubstep? Holy shit, he's so hot!"

 

 _Veterinary science department_ , she thought. It sounds so new to her. She's usually reserved, but to her surprise, she found herself talking about that boy together with her roommates. "How did you know he's from that department?"

 

"We saw him practicing for the performance just this afternoon," Kim fished out her nail-cutter and added, "and we saw him wearing his department shirt."

 

\--

 

She arrived at the hall early since she needs to study for her quiz in mechanics, lately realizing that she forgot to bring her book about it. No option was left for her plus she's too tired to walk back to their dormitory, resorting to go to the library since there's also an available book about her course there.

 

Most universities start their classes at 9 and she arrived half an hour earlier than the usual first period. The sun's rays are fairly considerate to penetrate on her body, and she enjoyed the serene atmosphere of the university as she made her way to the library.

 

It was too early for her to stay inside the library and she thought she might fall asleep easily if she goes inside. She wound up staying in a mini park located near the library and waited until the clock strikes at 9. Her first period starts at 10 so she got more than an hour left to stay and meditate outside.

 

She made herself comfortable by sitting on the _freshly_ _lawned_ park and rested by making her arms as the supports. She lets the sun penetrate her body and later she heard a small click-clack of chain. Fluttering her eyes open, she was half-surprised to be greeted with a cute shiba inu facing her.

 

Dogs are one of her main weaknesses and as much as she wanted to hold the dog, she only closed the proximity between her and the animal. Just as she scrunched her face in front of the puppy, it released a non-threatening growl.

 

She pouted at it, pretending that she's upset at the puppy's response, got up and dusted her bum as she was about to spin around towards the library when someone spoke.

 

"I'm sorry about my dog's behavior. This is our usual place to stay."

 

She didn't pay any attention to the voice as she was still sleepy, so she just nodded and head towards the library. She felt disappointed that everywhere she goes, she feels sleepy even if the sun did its best just to keep her awake.

 

_Him_

 

The dance event for a cause made him extremely stressed that he wanted to shift schools. He always wanted to help people but, God, _at least not these days when I have tight schedules_ , the school that he's currently in is being extra as per usual.

 

He had no other choice but to perform, either way. He missed familiarizing dance steps and performing the usual things he does way back when he was in high school. It wasn't that bad, he said to himself, it's only one night.

 

\--

 

He hoped to get a chance for taking back what he said way a week ago, for this dance practice stresses him a lot. Moving examinations, pathology and anatomy report, and all that crap about vet was mixed up with his dance practice, and he even left his 3 month old shiba puppy away from his care. For a week he was the grumpiest one among the students in their school, and even the girls who walk past him who wanted his attention couldn't even raise their arm to say hello for he looked like he's about to kill someone else.

 

-

 

Tonight is his biggest day for he is going to show what he was again back in high school, for the first time in college. He usually doesn't fear to take the stage but as he looked at the crowd from backstage, adrenaline rushed all over his body and his knees felt like jelly.

 

"Back it up, dude." One of his classmates approached and patted him, assuring that it's going to be okay.

 

"Thanks, it's surreal to perform again after 4 years." He said.

 

-

 

He gestured a prolonged thumbs up to the crown after the performers gathered on the stage. He twitched a smile and thank the crowd for supporting their event. He immediately went straight his home and greeted his lonely puppy sleeping on the couch. As he held him up, it can't stop wagging its tail and licked his face.

 

"Hey there buddy, it's been a while. I'm sorry I haven't make up with you. It won't happen again, I promise." He kissed his puppy and washed so he can sleep.

 

\--

 

He woke up to a fair weather's breeze hitting his skin and his puppy climbing on his chest while wagging its tail. He kissed him and got up to prepare for breakfast.

 

 

"Hey Spooks, you want to go with me?"

 

Taeyong was ready to go to the university, and it pains him to see his dog in grief while watching him leave. It's hard to resist his innocent features that’s why he took the puppy with him. Good thing that their department's mini park allows pets to lurk around so he planned to take him to a walk for half an hour and return him back to their home, which is only few drives away from the university.

 

The weather is fair to both of them and they enjoyed each other's companies. He can't stop giggling on how adorable he is when he rolls on the ground and hop to his knees, begging at his owner to carry him because he's tired.

 

They were about to rest in their usual spot when they both saw a lady, resting right just on their spot and conscience drive him if ever they made her get off from their place.

 

But Spooks thinks the opposite from him as he wriggle his body and fell on the ground. He dusts off himself and looked at the girl, closing her eyes while the sun's rays penetrated her skin. He froze on his position after the girl fluttered her eyes open.

 

Much to his surprise, his puppy had a different approach to the girl and he can't help but buries his face on his palms, experiencing a severe secondhand embarrassment. He saw her frown and he hopes for her to look at him, but to his dismay, she spun to go the other way around. As she was about to go, he mouthed for an apology.

 

"I'm sorry about my dog's behavior. This is our usual place to stay." He said, hopeful that she's not upset anymore.

 

She just nodded and walked out anyway.

 

He turned to Spooks and nagged at him as he squishes his face. "You naughty boy. That's not good, buddy." But the puppy beg not to care as it barked twice.

 

"Let's hope we'll be able to meet her again today. You’re up for it?" He asked. Surprisingly, Spooks seems to agree with him as it barked while wagging its tail. It was unbelievable for a dog to be blunt and he couldn't help but earn a chuckle. Taeyong picked him up and took of his leash, as he have to return Spooks at home.

 

\--

 

_Her_

 

She stayed at the library for more than an hour which concludes to...being late again on her first period. Fortunately, the professor has not yet arrived so she lets out the most exaggerating sigh of relief, earning few chuckles from her classmates.

 

\--

 

If looks could make a human exfoliate its skin, she was probably a walking skeleton by now.

 

Her Friday schedule was the least stressful among weekdays since she only have morning classes, before. But after the dismissal from her heat transfer class, she couldn't help but walk like a corpse for they have to design a solar panel just by themselves. It's like that dramatic effect from movies wherein one was walking in slow motion and the rest are normally just them.

 

Her anxiety grew as she walks away from their lecture room. Later, as the curiosity killed the cat, she turned around to see the shiba puppy which rejected her love before, now with delight expressed on its face. She was doubtful whether to approach the puppy or not after the small incident happened this morning. She kneeled and patted the puppy's head, making her die inside from the cuteness it showed. The puppy keep on wagging its tail and she tries to resist the urge from pinching his puppy cheeks.

 

"He's Spooks. Sorry that he was being a jock this morning. You went to our usual place to stay so he's kinda defensive for it."

 

She looked up to the direction of voice, and she can feel her insides melting at the sight of the guy that she and her roommates used to talk about one night who’s now in front of her with a small smile etched on his mouth. As much as she wanted to continue the conversation, she was lost for words and instead confessed how cute his puppy is.

 

"Your puppy is adorable."

 

"He is. Thanks."

 

Both of them were looking at each other, then to the puppy, and vice versa. Even Spooks was tired of their glancing contest that's why he barked out of frustration. The two people beside him laughed and Taeyong extends his arms as he introduces himself.

 

"I'm Lee Taeyong. It's nice to see you."

 

She returned the gesture and introduced herself as well. "I'm Y/FN. It's nice to see you too."

 

Taeyong picked up his puppy and continued the conversation. "So...what school are you from?"

 

The girl adjusts her pack bag to ease herself. "School of engineering. How about you?"

 

His mouth was slightly open after hearing where she was. "School of sciences."

 

Even if she apparently knew that he's from school of sciences, she tried hard not to sound like a stalker though she heard it out from her roommates that he's from vet. But as the clumsy gal she is, she slipped something from her mouth. "Oh, so you really are that guy from the cause event."

 

The funny thing here is, she found out that they both mirror each other's expressions after those words came out from her mouth. Maybe, he was shocked because she saw him dancing last night and she was shocked because her mouth is stupid for telling him about it. Taeyong looked down and scratched his nape, suppressing a smile. "Ah, I see. Thanks for supporting our event."

 

She wanted to hide from him after that, and as much as she badly wanted to hear his voice more, she needs to stop before she spills everything else about him, although it was just the fact that he's from vet and her heart just can't take the sight of him. "No probs... Um," she looked at his puppy one last time before she leaves, "I have to assess about my design project so I'll see you around I guess?"

 

 _She really is dumb_.

 

He smiled at her, probably happy that she wanted to see him again. "Sure. Bye." 

 

\--

 

As she arrived at their school’s provided workplace, she slouched on her back, thinking how stupid she was for telling him that she saw him performing yesterday at the quadrangle. Being an inborn introvert requires handfuls of courage to talk to the strangers and nine spoons of self-confidence in terms of presenting yourself in front of people. She loathes the ideology of engaging a conversation towards them as if it’s quintessential for human interaction in order to develop such harmonious relationship, rather than being silent and just ignore what others are doing.

 

Ironically, most of it end up with misunderstanding, and the worst, mayhem.

 

Few moments after, one of her professors arrived at the workplace and saw Y/N blankly staring at the ground. “You’re zoning out, Ms. Y/LN.” The student looked up to the direction of the voice, and composed herself from the sight of her professor. “’Was only deep in thoughts, ma’am. I’m sorry if that made you bothered,” she answered. Her professor shook her head _no_ and patted her back. “Others might think you’re in a staring contest with an entity on the ground so I have to voice out my concern,” she chuckled as she turned around towards the direction to the workplace’s door and twitched a smile, “I have to go now.”

-

She exited the workplace seeing the darkest hue of lilac sky enveloped by the beams of city light’s rays reflecting from the ground, getting a small possibility to see a blanket of twinkling stars due to light pollution. If we have to recall what she did back at the workplace in details, it might be lengthy.

 

To sum it up, instead of planning and sketching the skeleton of her improvised panel, she ended up finishing the base of the panel just by herself. She did the metalwork and never dared to ask for help on her seniors who were just working in silence with her inside the workplace, even if it requires help from them.

 

Anyway, her seniors didn’t bother to care either, because they’re also busy.

 

She walked in a slow pace and later her feet gave up. She sat on the porch of administration building and lolled at her back.

 

The university ground is moderately silent tonight, with few students especially from school of music just lurking around the campus due to their musical rehearsals. She took out her phone from the bag to see her tomorrow’s schedule _because yes she is forgetful at this kind_ , and jerked out after seeing the same shiba puppy she saw this morning and afternoon but this time, with a zinnia flower attached on his mouth. The puppy wagged its tail in delight, and she took the flower that he brought.

 

“Is this for me?” She asked as she points to herself. The puppy barked twice and she giggled. “You’re so cute.”

 

The puppy was about to rest beside her when a familiar voice echoed the building. “Spooks, don’t make me mad. We need to go home!”

 

The lady lost all her drowsiness like a blink of an eye and froze in her position, still holding the phone and flower hoping that right now is just a dream because damn, _I’ll see you around in some time_ only took couples of hours to last.

 

Taeyong finally found his dog and much to his surprise, together with Y/N he met just this afternoon. He smiled to himself, thankful that he met her again after a short time. He called for his dog’s attention, but it didn’t bother to move.

 

And so, he has to sit beside his dog, just few inches away from the lady. He mentally cursed at his dog for being so flirtatious.

 

“Your dog approached me first for twice today.” She said. Her attention is fixated on her phone, but hey, at least she’s not frozen anymore.

 

“I’m aware. I deeply apologize from his creepy behavior.” He responded. His puppy looked at him, still the same expression when he saw Y/N laced on its face. The owner just sighed and patted his head.

 

Silence took over them for a while, and finally the girl opened up to break the awkward atmosphere. “I see that you’re still here. Been busy with night classes?” She asked.

 

“Kind of,” he shrugged his shoulders and added, “I mean, we just finished our laboratory exam so it’s pretty tiring. How about you?”

 

Y/N glanced up the sky, now with darkness and a thin blanket of city light’s rays dominating its entirety. “I was supposed to assess only about my project but turns out I finished one-eighth of my output”, then she looked at the puppy and smiled. “Life’s unpredictable, right?”

 

The puppy barked at her as if he knows what she’s been telling him. Contrary to that, shiba inu dogs are smart but never loses the energy to play around, which is they may be tiring to tame but at least they’re easy to train. His owner can’t help but rolls his eyes as he looked away, deeming to understand his puppy’s behavior.

 

“Are you graduating next year?” Taeyong asked. Y/N shook her head _no_ and sighed. “Was supposed to, but I shifted schools that’s why I’m a year behind.”

 

“Ah, so that means we’re in the same age.” He added, “I’m graduating next year.”

 

The girl puts the zinnia flower beside her, and Taeyong tries his best to hide his exasperated-embarrassed reaction to his dog, because recalling back why he’s here with her in the first place, back in the dry laboratory, he was supposed to put the flower on his mother’s favorite jar at home but as he placed it on the table beside Spooks, the puppy took it and scampered away, leaving him behind while arranging for his things to go home.

 

Both Taeyong and Spooks were staring at each other until it caught the girl’s attention. She looked at him and the flower, and gave it back to him. “By the way, your puppy gave this to me before. I think this is yours and was supposed to be given to your girlfriend.” Handing over to him, he chuckled that made both the lady and the puppy confused. “That’s for my mother actually.” He emphasized.

 

She was startled by his response and didn’t bother to ask.

 

“Looks like you had several.” She suddenly asserted out of the blue, and Taeyong was dead-ass glaring _in a friendly way_ at her. “You’re judgmental.”

 

She only showed a peace sign, but was frightened by his immediate shift of expression and she was absolutely sorry for it. “My apologies! But honestly, you look like one. I swear, don’t you dare hit me or let your puppy bite me!” She waved her hands in defense, the intensity of her voice increasing and he couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

 

“You talked so fast and you should’ve seen your face. It was hilarious,” he said between laughs. She hits his arm playfully, but deep inside she was appalled by what she did.

 

The two had a great time while staying at the porch, not knowing that time keeps passing by until they noticed that they’re the only ones left leaving noises at the campus.

 

Both of them got up and Taeyong carried his puppy. “I hope we can be friends. Spooks can’t stop approaching you when his gut feeling knows that you’re near him. I think he likes you.” He said. He extends his arm, waiting for her to connect with hers and shake in agreement.

 

“Of course. I think you’re great to talk to and I feel special that your dog likes me. Friends.” Both shook hands and parted ways.

 

And that night at the porch of administration building at quarter to 10 in the evening, their friendship started.

 

\--

 

_Her_

 

Their dorm was solemn and dark as she entered, and she tiptoed to avoid creating a noise. Both of her roommates are in deep slumber so she slowly turned on the dimmer lamp to see the room being in good shape, and went to the bathroom to clean herself so she’ll be able to sleep peacefully. Additional to that, she became friends with that guy who dances amazingly yesterday because of his dog.

 

\--

 

“Midterms for this topic will be next week and hopefully you guys have already started shuffling your notes to review our lessons. On-hand presentation is two meetings after the examination. Class is dismissed.” The professor only came to their class to announce the date of exam, leaving his students stressful, as agony expressed on their faces. One of his students attempted to throw at him something when he turned around, but was abruptly stopped by the seatmates.

 

Y/N looked for her notes, which were mostly written on scratch papers, and arranged them so she could start reviewing tonight. Some of her classmates have already exited the room to proceed for their next classes.

 

She suddenly felt tired and unmotivated as she stepped out from their lecture room and thought why some of their professors are bunch of wimps that chastise them against their right to rest. _The world is so unfair_ , she mentally noted. A moment of silence later, her phone vibrates inside her bag and she took it out, revealing her roommate Kim calling.

 

“ _Hey. Is there a problem?_ ” Y/N asked.

“ _A cute puppy is currently standing here in front of our room—hey, are you in class? If you’re busy I can take a picture of it for you!”_ She can hear Kim giggling on the other line and she couldn’t help but assume it was Taeyong’s dog. _Who knows, it might be that one. Dogs are seldom seen lurking around the university campus_.

The latter only shifted her weight to her right leg and leaned at the building’s column. “ _Am busy. Of course you can, then show it to me when I get back there. You surprised me sis, I thought it was something important_.”

Kim chuckled at her roommate. ” _It wasn’t… this dog reminds me of you because you’re a big fool for those species. I think he has an owner though, the doggo’s in good shape and was well-groomed, and mind me to tell you that he’s still here._ ”

Hopefully, it could be Spooks.

 

-

 

She arrived at the dormitory early since she has no class for their last period at afternoon and after seeing no presence of Irene and Kim inside the room, she arranged her huge soft pillows and placed her feet on those. Her course has been killing her sanity lately but despite from the stress she’s slowly acquiring, _just keep on moving forward_.

 

 

 

_It was one cloudy morning and her mood is as fair as the weather today. She placed her favorite batik-accented shawl on the grass, her eyes wandering at a vast sight of the university’s quadrangle. Some students were walking and jogging around the tracks provided, and the rest are doing the same as her, relaxing but chatting with their friends. Some of them are strolling around the quadrangle, with dogs accompanying them to exercise their bodies also. She couldn’t help but build a speck of jealousy inside, wishing that she got one._

_She was lost in her thoughts until such time, someone licked her right foot. She jerked from her position, scared and surprised but laughed afterwards since it’s just Spooks fooling at her. The dog is larger than before this time, but she finds it cute that Spooks still acts like a 3-month old puppy._

_The dog approached her and lounged on the ground, purposely placing its head at the direction of Y/N’s hand. She petted the dog and kissed its head, hearing a groan from someone beside her._

_“I get it. You’re officially biased to my dog.”_

_The latter only looked at the guy and winked at him. “I am always affectionate, even at you.” She smiled, and Taeyong couldn’t help but pinch her squishy cheeks. “You’re too lucky I am always considerate when it comes at showing affections,” he leaned on her, their tips of noses brushed and she is blushing so hard, “especially in public places.”_

_As always, he easily gets jealous. “You better be.” She smirked. The guy felt defeated, making him wobble his body in desperation. “A kiss on the cheek is all I need! Why can’t I do that?”_

_Unbothered, her attention is still on the dog until she heard no more complains from him, and she’s well-aware that he gave up on her. She looked at him and suppressed a smile, adoring a sight of gloomy and upset Taeyong. She leaned on his side, kissed him on his semi-blemished cheeks and ruffled his messy parted hair._  
  


 

She woke up the fastest way she can, and felt herself fluttering at her dream. Needless to say, she liked it.

 

“What the hell,” is all she can mutter as she rubbed her eyes. She got up and went to their mini living room, still without the presence of her roommates. Glancing at their cute floral clock hung on their small fridge, she started preparing for breakfast as soon as it says 6:48 in the evening.

 

While mincing the onions, her mind suddenly rambles at her dream once again, making her lost in her thoughts until she felt her left index finger oozing. She panicked for seconds and cleaned the mess brought by her clumsiness. However, she continued preparing for their dinner.

 

-

Her roommates arrived half an hour after and immediately went to the kitchen to eat dinner. Kim playfully hit Y/N’s shoulder and took out her phone, scrolling through countless grids for the picture she wanted to show to her. “This is the dog that I’ve been talking to you this morning.” Upon finding for the picture, Irene went to their seats to see the dog that Kim has been talking about.

 

Kim showed the picture to Y/N, and she tried her best to hide her blushing cheeks from the two of them.

 

Because it really is Spooks.

 

“A shiba inu…puppy?” Irene asks, clarifying if it was a shiba inu breed.

 

Kim nodded in confirmation and went back to her seat to start eating for dinner. “You guys should’ve been here this morning. I mean it was bizarre—he was literally just standing at our front door when I was about to go out and he didn’t even barked! The dog was perfectly trained though, I was amazed.”

 

Irene, who was busy devouring and relishing the dish that Y/N prepared, only nodded while waiting for Kim to continue her talking. Their roommate, on the other hand, finds it cute but creepy at the same time, though Taeyong have already told her that Spooks is really good at tracking people he likes.

 

“Well, there were a lot of rooms here in the dorm but why did that dog chose to stay outside our dorm? Could it be…”

 

As Irene trails to find for the perfect question, Kim was waiting for her to talk and Y/N’s anxiety is exponentially growing, praying to God that they’ll divert to another topic. “Our room is always clean and partly scented and it was his favorite scent?”

 

Their roommate lets out a breath of relief and Kim was laughing out loud, and she’s always that overreacting no matter how shallow Irene’s jokes are.

 

For almost two hours, the three girls stayed on their seats and chatted as if they have no school-works left to assess.

\--

 

For the record, the hands-on exam for engineering seniors took almost 3 hours and knowing that there were less than 50 seniors in total, it was a tough examination and some of the juniors who were waiting outside the lecture room provided inside the metal workplace where the workshop should’ve take place, were complaining and went somewhere after. They were instructed to wait 10 minutes for the queuing but in the end, disappointment took over the juniors waiting outside.

 

She thought she’ll be late again for the workshop but much to her luck, the event was postponed and since it was supposed to be a whole-day event, she went instead to school of sciences’ mini park since she thought she’ll be relaxed while staying there. There were few people staying and so she went to the vacant bench as fast as she can and as she arranged her things, she looked around and adored the solemnity of the place, deciding that staying here daily was the best option she has even if she needs to wait for the next class in just a short time.

 

“Hey.” Taeyong poked her shoulder and she was about to whack him with her thick book in fluid mechanics. Taeyong was overwhelmed and nervous seeing the thickness of the book Y/N has, mentally cursing that he will never scare her again.

 

“I feel like you’re digging my shoulder.” She rubs her shoulder, fake wincing in pain. “Are you mad?” She questions, putting the book on her side.

 

“Nope. I thought it would be cool seeing your flustered face but karma took over me.” Taeyong replied. He didn’t brought Spooks today and she was quite upset.

 

She was certain that something wrong happened with Taeyong but she can’t point out where it was. Staring at his face with much bravery, the guy became anxious. “Is there something wrong?” He asks as his palms wanders on his face.

 

“Let me figure it out again.” She trails off, until she saw his right eyebrows scratched. She laughed out loud and said, “Right, it’s your eyebrows! Something just came into my mind and I’m sorry I have to say this.” Holding her tummy from laughter, Taeyong touched his right eyebrow and chuckled, realizing the minor accident that happened to him just this morning. “Spooks scratched this—“

 

“It looked like a Panini bread.”

 

She bursts out in laughter again, almost bothering the other students resting at the mini-park. Taeyong scratched his nape and looked down, unable to determine if he was embarrassed either by the situation or due to her laughter.

 

She was lucky enough that Taeyong knows how to control his temper though.

 

“Nerds are really weird.” Taeyong said, making her stop from laughing.

 

Although his expression was softened, she felt guilty thinking that she may have made fun or humiliated him at public which caused her to close her eyes and crosses her left chest. “That will never happen again. I’m sorry.” She mumbled and shied away from him. The guy only mustered a smile at her sight. “It’s funny how you get guilty easily. At least we both have nicknames for each other now.” He patted her back and she was slowly glancing at his face.

 

“Thanks, Panini brows.” She smiled.

 

“No worries, nerdy.” He added, extending a fist. They fist-bumped and enjoyed their stay at the mini-park, gradually creating their friendship stronger.

 

\--

 

Immense rain occupied one Tuesday morning, and time has passed by so fast like a blink of an eye. There were only three months left for the seniors to graduate and for the juniors to finish the semester. Most of the students are busy nowadays due to the activities gave to them by the professors, the difficulty ranging on their brutality towards their students.

 

Despite from academics—her improvising a mini solar panel for her Thermodynamics III class and countless moving exams for Taeyong in his Pathology class, they always spare an extra time to hang out at a coffee shop located a building away from school of music and literature. She became friends with Johnny, Taeil and Jaehyun, three of Taeyong’s friends and also classmates from his one minor class before, and even got close with them since sometimes she asked them out for help about that one topic in her major that requires immense knowledge in chemistry. Also, she helps Johnny and Jaehyun with their problems in physics and calculus.

 

Of course, she and Taeyong have also hung out at a dog café since Spooks is a demanding puppy and always wanted to play. Maybe, he got bored at Taeyong’s presence _which is too selfish for him because everyone would die to be in his position, to be honest_ and she is not enough for him to play around.

 

There was also one time when Taeyong went to her school’s mini-expo at the university’s gym where it was held, to show support for her department’s inventions made by the students. He saw the simple engine that her team made and even took a picture of it.

Every time, she messages and calls him whenever he’s pulling an all-nighter, sending him encouragements for his thesis and countless examinations, and they promised to call each other in case if they have problems impossible to solve just by themselves alone.

 

She also opened up Taeyong to Kim and Irene, making her roommates gush and shoot her some hideous glances as if they’re smelling something suspicious. Both of them are proud of her anyway since Y/N has few friends in their school plus she’s socially awkward in public.

 

 

 

It's been already a week since Taeyong and her haven't got in touch, and everyday her curiosity with Taeyong's absence grows, questioning her sanity bottled up inside. The latter tried hard to ignore him and it sucks that as her convention for their department slowly approaches, she failed to resist the urge to stop thinking about him. The fact that most of her guts became true, which was hypothesized before but to her surprise she proved that it's real, she couldn't help but rush to her friend's school building.

 

As she arrived at the school of sciences' building, she saw Johnny and approached him to ask. "Have you seen Taeyong?"

 

The guy shrugged as he shook his head _no_. "Sorry, I was also looking for him. I haven't seen him for like...two days also." He said. She shot him a questioned look, making Johnny sighed out of frustration. "You see, I think we should look for him. That guy haven't had enough knowledge to act normal whenever he's stressed." He added.

 

"Is it possible he's only staying at their laboratory?" She asked, running her fingers through her hair as she thinks of different possibilities about Taeyong's whereabouts. The two are walking towards the laboratory silently, trying to analyze what might've happened to their friend. Usually, Taeyong is that type of guy to assure his friends that he's doing great through messaging and meeting them in hallways or wherever it is, you name it. Now that he neither messaged nor met Y/N for almost a week and hasn't been in touch with Johnny, the two were suspicious that something wrong is happening to him.

 

The two have already arrived at the veterinary laboratory as they were welcomed with dark lights. She searches for Taeyong as Johnny turns on the lights. "Hey, panini brows, you better not joke around!" She yelled. Johnny, on the other hand, laughed at her bluntness despite from the worry that he has for his friend.

 

She searched more until she found a room with a door slightly ajar, almost secluded at the back of the laboratory and as she opened it, her scream echoed inside the laboratory. "Johnny!"

 

Taeyong was unconsciously lying on the ground, body is as cold as fridge and paler than a high substance bond paper. She can't stop rummaging to find a pulse on his body and thankfully, she found the weakest pulse just below his jaw. She immediately went to get the things essential for rescuing him from the first aid kit provided by the room and attempted to carry Taeyong. Flabbergasted, she tears up from shock that he's feeble and easy to carry. Johnny's eyes widen at the sight of his unconscious friend and carried him, rushing outside to get themselves inside his car and drive them to the nearest hospital.

 

Y/N brought out the electric hot pack to warm Taeyong's body, checking his pulse, massaging his palms and feet, and checking his heartbeat every half a minute. Arriving at the emergency room, the door swung open to make Taeyong lie on the hospital bed.

 

\--

 

The doctor attached her stethoscope to check Taeyong. "He is extremely fatigued and most possibly, he lacked sleep and barely ate. Ample time to rest is what he needed the most right now," adjusting the dextrose level, she looked at the two and added, "also he should eat well. You better take care of him—tell him to never stress or overwork himself again. Those were the reasons why your friend became unconscious."

 

Johnny paid so much attention to the doctor but she, on the other hand, has her attention fixed at Taeyong who is peacefully sleeping, with his complexion still pale and barely recovering. Although she was somewhat listening to the doctor, she felt the need to take care of him and focus less on their upcoming convention instead.

 

The doctor made her way to the exit, leaving Johnny, Y/N, and Taeyong.

 

"I knew it. But I never thought about this for a moment." Johnny gaze is casted on the ground and Y/N patted his back. "You did nothing wrong. It already happened so the only thing we should do is to help him." She answered, hoping that it was helpful to comfort Johnny.

 

Dull silence occupied the room and the faint sound of Bear Grylls talking about the raw salmon he ate at Discovery Channel was enough to lessen the tension in the room. Later, Johnny shifted his position to make an extra space for Y/N to rest. "You must be tired." Johnny said as he saw her droopy eyelids. She hovered to the side in order for her to see Taeyong and only heaved a sigh in response.

 

"Anyway, Taeyong always talks about you though. He told us before that it was his first to have a friend from a different school." He added. Her drowsiness went to zero real quick and craned her neck towards Johnny's face.

 

"Also, he admire your bravery to take that course—engineering, right?"

 

The latter nodded in confirmation. "Cool. Who would've thought that my best friend met a girl just because of his dog?" Johnny chuckled and added, "Like...wow? If that's the case, I would like to buy a shiba inu dog so I can meet a beautiful and amazing girl also." He said and Y/N felt like she's being chaffed. Johnny realized what he said later and slapped himself. She façade her amusement by showing her smug expression, but gave up in the end because it was too hilarious to ignore. "Let's say, you're just messing around to avoid the awkward silence."

 

"Hey, are you free this weekend? I can message Taeyong's mom to monitor her son here but I guess she's too busy so maybe you can volunteer to help that guy...if you're—nevermind."

 

She thought about it carefully and was mentally sketching for her plans, trying to insert her schedule to visit Taeyong. Since her convention starts at 10 in the morning and ends at 5 in the afternoon, she thought it might be nice if she'll do the morning shift. "I think I can watch him every early mornings... is it okay?"

 

Johnny puts his index finger on his bottom lip as if he's deciding whether it's good or bad, and in the end, he nodded and gave a thumbs up to her. "Sounds good. I'm not a morning person but if you can't make it daily, I’ll leave it to Taeil…too bad, he's too busy for his musical presentations these days." He clicked his tongue in disappointment, making her gesture him that it's okay.

 

"You're sure about it, right? Well, that's all. I'll do the shift tonight, or I think I have to message his sister to come over," Johnny looked so stressed so he huffed, probably tired, "damn it, why is he like this again?"

 

-

 

She went to their dormitory half an hour after Taeil arrived at the room, and immediately went asleep. She wasn't bothered by her roommates who were supposed to ask her and ignored the thought that lingers them. It was a rough day, after all.

 

\--

 

Today is already their convention day, but she woke up extra early to buy fruits and extra snacks for Taeyong to eat. The doctor advised them to feed him healthy foods to replenish his close-to-running-out-of-stamina body, additional to that is to stabilize his physique. Johnny messaged her last night that Taeyong lost his grip to hold anything, which means they have to feed him until his strength gets back.

 

 

She arrived at the hospital at an early hour where the sun was partly covered by the morning clouds and mist. Few honks of cars greeted her as they were passing by the early roads, and she heads straight to the room where he was admitted.

 

As she entered the room, Taeyong is half awake watching the television, with Johnny and the other one who was sleeping on back sharing the couch provided by the hospital. She placed the basket on the table and sat on the chair beside the hospital bed.

 

Taeyong looked at her and smiled, still weak just like his body. "Hi."

 

She looked at him in pity, and by the time she remembered why he went like this in the first place, her expression hardened. "The next time you should tell us if you have troubles. Don't you know how worried sick we are?" She asked, trying to control her voice since his two friends are still sleeping. Taeyong closed his eyes and heaved a sigh, as if he already knew this was going to happen. "I know. I will not do this again, I promise. I'm sorry you guys have suffered just because of me." He trailed off as his gaze was lowered, embarrassed.

 

She patted his shoulder for reassurance, realizing that she has no right to be mad because it already happened, just like what he said to Johnny previously. "By the way, I brought you fruits and some healthy snacks because you need them," she looked up and was greeted with the sight of Johnny just rubbing his eyes and Jaehyun who just shifted his position, showing his peaceful sleeping face in front of Taeyong and her, "and hopefully you'll stay here until tomorrow because you weren't admitted in the university's hospital."

 

Taeyong only nodded and even in the slightest movement he does, he looks pitiful and she can't stand seeing him in that condition.

 

An hour later, the two were finally awake and greeted her. She waved her hands in return and prepared her things, double-checking the essential things she brought for the said convention. "Hey, are you leaving immediately?" Johnny interrogates, expressing disappointment at her. "Nope. Have I told you that I need to wake up extra early since I volunteered for morning shift?" She retorts back.

 

Johnny rolls his eyes, not wanting to be defeated. "You look like you're about to leave."

 

She shook her head no, and threw two apples at Johnny and Jaehyun. They caught them perfectly and muttered _thank yous_. She looked at Taeyong who’s glum and pouting, and she's clueless why he's doing it.

 

He's undeniably cute even when he's sick.

 

"Why did you gave them but not me? That's unfair." He slowly spoke. His two friends who enjoyed eating the apple watched him and her in amusement.

 

"Wow, you sound dramatic." She answered as she picked an apple and sliced it by bits so he would be able to munch it prior to his strength. She hands out a part to him and as he received it, he jerked his hand and the apple fell to the micro-filthy hospital tiles. She groaned and stomped her foot, and Taeyong only returned a sympathetic smile. She has no option left but to feed him instead.

 

She picked another part and fed him. The guy chewed the apple, grinned at her, and so, despite his condition, him grinning was the thing that she loathes the most—for it flutters her heart and wanting her to kiss his cheeks.

 

Cut it out. Both of them are just friends.

 

Instead, she hissed at him and fed him one more time and she wondered why the room was suddenly quiet.

 

\--

 

It's already quarter to 10 in the morning and she needs to leave. She bade goodbye to the three guys and tried her best to catch up for a good taxi that will be able to reach the university immediately despite the traffic.

 

-

 

First day of convention went well and they won some of the contests facilitated. They earned new friends from other universities and learned new knowledge about the world of their course in relation to the profession they'll acquire.

 

She immediately went to the dormitory to review for the said quiz tomorrow, and her phone buzzed as she reached the front door.

 

Johnny messaged her that Taeyong will be discharged two days after, and he preferred to stay in the dorms and she doesn't need to go in their dorm. She wondered why so she asked. "Huh? All of a sudden it's okay for me to never check him up? Believe me or not, I used to study for premed so I'm certain I have a slight background about it; it's in my favor to help our friend."

 

"Woah, hey don't exaggerate too much man, he was prescribed to take vitamins and a pill to relax himself just in case he's stressed."

 

"Shut up. A pill? Wait what's going on?"

 

Broad possibilities crossed her mind about Taeyong's illness after she read Johnny's recent reply. It didn't occurred at her that he's actually a man with heaps of secrets kept inside, thus she planned to pepper him with questions after he goes back to normal.

 

While reviewing for tomorrow's quiz bee at the convention tomorrow, her mind was distracted about Taeyong. _Is he okay? Did Johnny sacrificed his sleep just to monitor him? Was his muscles be able to move already?_

 

Moving on to the next topic which is Refrigeration as it is likely to appear on her quiz bee tomorrow, the latter's mind wasn't able to concentrate in the review but easily changes to Taeyong. Without any doubt, she went to their bedroom to get her sweater and wore eye patches to cover up her eye bags, an unplanned visit to the hospital is done.

 

Not to mention that she should've applied concealer instead of sticking eye patches though.

 

She arrived at the hospital an hour before the visit curfew and people were looking at her everytime she passed corner by corner until she finds Taeyong's room.

 

A surprised Johnny and Taeil greeted her as she opened the door, with Taeyong smiling at her even with his fringe partly covering his eyes. She walked straight to Johnny, slipping the phone from her pocket as she showed him his message thread.

 

"You're joking, right?" She asks, hopeful that he really was. Johnny could offer a sheepish smile and Taeil buries his face from secondhand embarrassment. "Say hyung pretends to be shocked, yes we actually are kidding. Don't worry, you can go visit him in the dorm once he's well but you have to walk 97 steps from your dorm." He looked at Taeyong who's skittish at his two bickering friends, and back to her with disgruntled face. "And excuse me, you don't need to rub your personal facts at us that you studied premed once or else an infinitesimal possibility of you meeting my friend happened. Heol."

 

In conclusion, her rushing to the hospital to confront Johnny with her hair slightly disheveled and eye bags covered in panda accented patches was pure chaff, but at least she got to see Taeyong again despite from her convention activities. Taeil looks tired talking to Johnny as half of his body was slumped on the couch. She walked to Taeyong's side, checking his arms and eyes. She carefully held his right arm where the dextrose injection is attached, slowly pressing to check his flesh, making sure that he can’t wince in pain. She then leans at him to dilate his eyes for final confirmation whether he's okay or still needs to stay longer in the hospital, to her case. She can feel his gaze staring at her intently and surprisingly she managed to muster up her courage to lean at him, even with his two friends present just beside them.

 

"You're fine. Your complexion is going back to normal and your eyes aren't bloodshot red anymore. Let's hope for the doctor to discharge you—hold up," she then gestured at him to shake his hands to check if his strength is now okay, and fortunately he's too jolly for a kindergarten student to execute an exercise.

 

"Great! Now I think you're totally okay." She clapped and grinned at him, satisfied and adamant that he'll be okay and ready to be discharged tomorrow, at least. For someone who's nearly graduating like him, he needs full participation on his academics or else he'll get left behind to comply for the requirements in graduation since it's fast approaching. Looking at the clock, she used her remaining time to talk to him by showing her concern about his academic standing.

 

"The reason why I hope for you to recover fast was... I want you to graduate on time and seeing that you always worked hard on your studies and this situation that you have right now has somewhat stressed me out.” She glanced at the wall clock again and looked back at him. “I have to go now, gotta prepare for our convention's second day tomorrow and I hope you'll sleep well. Good night." She pats his right arm one last time and waved goodbyes to Johnny and Taeil setting up the couch to sleep.

 

Strike one for her.

 

As the door clicked shut, Taeil switched off the light except the dimmer located at the corner of the room's large couch, glancing one last time at Taeyong whose gaze is still fixated at the door with a longing look, and mumbled at Johnny before he drifts to sleep. "If she only didn't have a convention our friend might've slept accordingly. I have to sleep now."

 

The tall guy only nodded, because he was thinking the same thing too. He looked at Taeyong, and just as he was about to tell him to close his eyes he was already snoring, but this time with his small smile still lingers as soft snores echoed the room.

 

 

The doctor arrived early in the morning to deliver the good news they've been waiting for.

 

After the last check-up and hospital bill payments, Taeyong is discharged and Johnny drove him to his house since he decided to stay at their home. They reached his house few corner drives later, Taeyong's mom hugged and nagged at him afterwards but was calmed down as she lets her son walk to his bedroom since he needs rest. She thanked Johnny and made him homemade cookies as an exchange for his gratitude at him, and he stayed at the house for a while.

 

"I am glad that you messaged me 3 days ago. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to visit him once because I was busy at field work." she sighed looking at his door. "It happened again." Her expression falters into a concerning one.

 

Johnny couldn't agree more and he only nodded in response as he busied himself eating the cookies she made. He cleared the stuff in his mouth and drank water. "Actually Mrs. Lee, if it wasn't because of his new friend he might have choked out of air. Too bad I didn't bring her here."

 

She casted a quizzical look at Johnny and interrogated him, "Really? And who's that good friend that you're referring to?" leaning on the bar stool at the kitchen, she waits for his response.

 

"A lady just around his age. She's from engineering and he was absolutely lucky at her because I am actually a loser at rescues, to be honest. She found him unconscious and immediately operated the first aid procedures I haven't had any knowledge at." He asserts, making her nod as she deciphers what he said. Johnny brings out his phone and shows a picture of Y/N to Taeyong's mother. "This is her."

 

A smile tugged on her lips as she saw Y/N’s picture. "She's beautiful."

 

"Especially in person, Mrs. Lee. I swear." Johnny adds and she chuckled.

 

Johnny bade goodbye since he has to prepare for his exams in his two majors tomorrow.

 

-

 

Five days have passed and the two met at the university's library lounge since she was deadass tired from the succeeding exams and he was weary from the 3 hour lectures and his current condition as he was still on the process for recovery. She found him slouching in a beanbag placed near the glass window of the library and poked his right arm. "Hey. I'm glad you don't look like a corpse anymore."

 

Taeyong just woke up from short sleep and scoffed at her. "I have no time to react at your joke."

 

She sighed at him as she lets herself swallow by the beanbag's entirety. She fixed her posture and grabbed Taeyong's arms carefully. She checked them and placed it back to his lap after confirming he's okay. "You finally recovered. I'm impressed. But always take your vitamins and--" her voice raised and earned few stares around them, and she covered her mouth in embarrassment. "My apologies. Uh…yup, take them daily and always sleep early."

 

Taeyong flashed a soft smile at his friend. He reached for her shoulders and playfully hit them with his fist. "I sincerely thank you for helping me. I was grateful that you guys sacrificed for my condition last week." He smiled bashfully and she thinks it's too cute when he goes shy. She was about to speak up when he opens his mouth, asking her for a treat.

 

"I have to return the help you guys offered to me, and I hope a food treat is enough for you to receive my gratitude." He trails off, fiddling his hands as worry is evident on his face.

 

She sprawled her arms backwards to the beanbag as she mouthed _yes!_ _since they're not allowed to talk in the library—even if they're only chilling at the lounge_. Taeyong looks away from her and silently laughed at her frivolous response. “Don’t you know that incentives are my driving mechanism?” She states and he side-eyed her. “For what.”

 

“To be kinder to people, I suppose. Live kindly and people will give you the credit you deserved, whether they return it low-key or not.” She replied.

 

He smiled gently at her, the thought of him being lucky as one of her friends crossed his mind.

 

He asked her for the schedule of treat. "Tomorrow night since I have no class and then... it's the weekend afterwards. I don't know about Johnny, Taeil and Jaehyun though. But I think they can since Fridays are mostly free for us." She replied.

 

"I see. I'll message them instead. I hope they're vacant tomorrow night." He messaged his three friends about the treat and its tentative schedule and a millisecond later Johnny and Taeil replied that they're totally fine with it and they can't wait for the treat tomorrow.

 

\--

 

There were few hours left till she goes out for tonight's food treat by Taeyong at a grilled restaurant near his neighborhood. She finished her report for power plant engineering before dressing up in sweatpants and a grey cotton tee. Even though their university is huge, she decided to stroll to the grilled restaurant for her drowsiness to pass.

 

The grilled outdoor restaurant was slightly packed by customers since it's weekend, which is also a suitable time to hang around with friends and colleagues. She can already spot Taeil talking to Johnny and Taeyong grilling the food. Johnny was the first one who found her and waved enthusiastically as she walks towards their table.

 

Taeil tapped the vacant spot on the seat beside him at her. "A seat is spared for you. You almost came late!" he exclaims.

 

"Almost is better than nothing, Taeil." she giggled. The aroma of meat's oil mixing the smoke starts clinging into her nose, an olfactory response of satisfaction rushing through its nerves. She closed her eyes as she relishes the smell of grilled meat, earning a chorus of laughs from her friends.

 

-

 

The cooked samgyupsal finished in a heartbeat, which only indicates that the four of them are hungry and most probably, stressed out.

 

Another batch of food was served at their table and Johnny groaned because he’s full but suddenly rejoiced as bottles of soju was placed by the waiter. Y/N opened the bottles as they served it to them. They raised their bottles together as they cheered for toast.

 

"Our youngest member is busy with his girlfriend now, right?" Johnny gulped the vodka, facing Taeil and Taeyong. "Too bad, he missed this treat!" his voice was chipped, mocking with grim on his face as he fake-pouted.

 

Y/N didn't seem to get the topic so Taeyong told her that Johnny was referring to Jaehyun who has a girlfriend from school of music and he was supposed to come tonight but he told him that he's on a date with her, and she nodded in response after getting the context.

 

The three were already drunk as they started blabbering nonsense—Taeil doesn't give shits as he is asleep, Johnny was imitating a parrot's voice and Taeyong was a full sober ranting about his life and the difficulties he faced in his course.

 

She only drank a little, making her the only non-sober person in the group. A concerned laugh escapes her mouth looking at the three time-to-time, and opted to listen at Taeyong's life confession.

 

"I wonder why I took veterinary science in thwe first place," he belches out loud and continues ranting, "but honestly it was an interesting subject and I am fond of animals except those little shitty intimidating reptiles that I despise the most awnd hmm..." he trails off, putting his index finger on his lips pouting. _He pouted in front of her for the second time and she swore to herself that she'll beat herself up once she can't resist the urge to kiss the cute sober guy in front of her anymore._ "Well I guess uhhh, it was great being in this course because I did well in academics, right Y/N?"

 

He looked at her with his eye smile, the cold image of him not apparent anymore and she's lucky enough to witness the cutest sight of Taeyong talking like a grade school pupil. She hums in reply, still adoring his uwu side. Johnny's already done with his parrot imitation and he fell silent as his attention was glued on his phone, messaging every recipients he has at his inbox with gibberish words.

 

Taeyong halted from talking, and this time his tears are slowly building up on the corner of his eyes, rolling its way to his cheeks. Y/N exchanged a perturbed look with Johnny but he only shrugged his shoulders and had his attention back to his phone.

 

"Have you ever feel like you wanted to fucking jump off a building because the world is being unfair to you after you poured out all of your hardwork but you have to start it all over again because of a mistake? And others were only partying and fucking strangers but managed to surpass it? What the fuck is life even? Where's the transparency though? Shit." He casts an intimidating gaze outside, holding back his tears as he yanked his half-to-empty soju and finished it in one shot.

 

Y/N's eyes widen from his abrupt spitting of profanities, unaware that she's holding his wrists as she comforts him. "Hey, cheer up. Life can be sometimes unfair man, but think of it as a test of patience." She suddenly sighed at the thought of her scenario happened last year.

 

"You made me remember of my removal on my major again. Honestly speaking, I had a hard time dealing with that considering I suffered from almost a week all-nighters but in the end I have to take another exam again but some of the cheetahs in our class passed. Anyways, they failed at the most difficult major though, but I passed without any doubt. Karma will come at them, trust me! You're not alone suffering from troubles."

 

Taeyong sighed at her and looked at his wrists within her grip. His anger disappeared straightaway and was replaced with a soft smile, letting the remaining tears on his eyes and face dry by itself. Y/N followed the direction of his gaze and blush crept her cheeks as she removes her hands from his wrists.

 

"Why did you remove them? Look at me, I'm sad again." He pouted _again, for the love of God_. "Please make me happy. Pwease."

 

She can't stop cringing at his outburst of cuteness, but she can feel her palms patting his cheeks as she pulled closer at a safe distance from his face. "I hope you're always happy because there was once a saying that people easily look older when they always frown." She pats his cheeks simultaneous to every word she utters, and Taeyong's face is too obvious that he likes it, even with the presence of vodka now occupying his body. Heart emulates over the tipsiness, after all.

 

The two are on their own worlds, Johnny is now calling someone else, gibberish dominating the conversation, and Taeil remains asleep.

 

\--

 

A week has already passed since the treat. Today's the university music festival and it is always held every 2 months before graduation week. Most of the participants came from the school of music, and few are just local artists and sometimes, it could be a famous band depending on the students’ requests to get invited by the university to perform for the students.

 

It was a tiring day for her though, and she was skeptical whether she should at least loiter around the university quadrangle and school of music's auditorium to watch orchestra performances or stay in their dormitory and study for finals.

 

Kim has been forcing her to come with her this morning because she wanted to see her crush from school of music performing the song he composed but Y/N was too tired to go with her, making Kim joke about her and Taeyong which made her pissed off, defeated. The least thing she could do to her roommate is accept her requests because she knows how to hit their weaknesses, and that includes Irene.

 

She was busy summarizing the important formulas used for the problems she's going to solve until her phone was ringing.

 

It was Taeyong calling, and she wonder what would be his tricks again, because the last time he called at these hours was he made her bring Spooks who was lost in their neighborhood and she can't stop cursing at him as he was driving her to the university's dorm. "Hey, nerd. Are you free tonight? My treat."

 

"My roommate offered first. No thanks." She ends the call and less than a second later, he called again, earning another groan from her. "I told you, Kim offered me a treat first. You can have Johnny or Taeil to join you damn it."

 

Taeyong was silent for a while, and a moment of silence after, he spoke. "Taeil can't tag along since he's busy. But I'll bring Spooks."

 

Strike one for Taeyong.

 

"Be thankful that I love your dog." Accepting defeat, she left her academic works and went to dress the most formal way she can--a pedal pants, polo shirt she got from convention and flippers. Kim messaged her earlier that she'll be waiting at the dormitory's porch, and she thought if it would be okay for Taeyong to tag along Kim as their another company for tonight. "Hey panini brows, can Kim join with us?" She asked, hoping that he'll be okay with it. If he disagrees, then she'll go for plan B which is to go with Kim for tonight's festival.

 

"It's alright. I have Johnny and Jaehyun here with me." He said, obviously hiding his laughter.

 

Y/N is close to break a neuron from her mind. Her heaved sigh is audible enough for Taeyong to hear on the other line. "Right."

 

\--

 

"What the hell, Y/N. Are you serious?" Kim whispered to her, bashful from the three guys standing next to them. Y/N was carrying Spooks which is now heavier than before, elbowing Kim's side as she wriggle her eyebrows. "You liked it, right?"

 

Kim couldn't hide her flushed cheeks and it was so hilarious because he was never like this. After three years, Y/N finally concluded that Kim's weakness are cute guys. "I don't know. What the hell." Looking at her unbothered roommate, both of them have distanced away from the three guys. "Are you okay with this?" Kim asked.

 

Y/N only nodded. Her lips are pressed in thin line, hiding her amusement to her shy roommate. "Of course, they're nice. Once you'll talk to them, they won't stop talking to you. Hey, hold up. Aren't you supposed to be the one who should ask me that?"

 

She introduced her roommate to the three guys and they started walking to the university quadrangle where the festival was held. It was packed with booths, and the aesthetics shown were reflected from the genre they're performing. Taeyong preferred hip-hop and R&B, while she's a fool for acoustics.

 

Almost of them parted ways, except for her and Kim since they both share the same interest in acoustic sessions. They went to the 'String Love' camp where few people have gathered to watch the performance. It was located at the farthermost part of the quadrangle, if we have to base it from the location of main stage. Strums of guitar and sweet harmonies are exchanged by the student artists, making Y/N already forget her academic obligations. Spooks is just beside her, enjoying the peaceful atmosphere in the camp. The song has already finished and all of them clapped and cheering the two artists. Kim looked at her roommate and to her surprise, Taeyong was already with them. He placed Spooks on his lap and waited for another artist to perform. She nudged her roommate's side and Y/N glanced at the direction where Kim's mouth was pointed. "Are you taking Spooks?" She asked.

 

He nodded and added, "And you." Grabbing her arm, he took Spooks and Y/N to the main stage area. While running, she can't decipher the reason why he took her away from the camp and bring her to listen the songs he’s interested at. Still carrying Spooks, both of them have already arrived at the main stage and settled themselves by looking for the perfect place where they can watch Coldplay at clear sight.

 

“Who’s playing for tonight?” She asked, raising her voice since someone was already playing onstage. “I’ve read at the banner that there were three bands performing, two from the winners of university band competition and Coldplay.” Taeyong replied without looking at her since his attention is at the band currently performing. Y/N gasped as loud as she can, and her patience to wait for Coldplay to take the stage is getting smaller as the songs have finished playing.

 

The last band set up the stage and she whispered at his ear. “Honestly, if it wasn’t because of Coldplay I have already sneaked out to go back at acoustic booth.”

 

Taeyong looked sideways, appreciating her side profile as he adjusts his snapback and placed Spooks on the ground. She was unaware of his gaze and he wonders why she’s suddenly interested listening to the last local band. The band played an acoustic rock song that had her hypnotized by the plucking and slow strums of drums. A smile escaped from his lips, with gaze still locked at hers.

 

Her attention is on the local band she admired just now, Taeyong was taking the opportunity to stare at her, and now Johnny, Jaehyun, and Kim were lined behind them—them becoming the third-wheelers for tonight.

 

-

Tonight’s crowd was alive and everyone’s singing to every song that Coldplay has played, making the most of the couples mixed within the audience drew close to each other’s hold for dear life. Taeyong can see her engrossed at Coldplay’s presence from his peripheral vision and he looked at her again, watching her closely as she hums along with the song.

 

“Hey pa—“ Y/N turned around to look at Taeyong who’s absent-mindedly staring at her, the bliss look on her face faltering as it was replaced with a look of concern. “Do you want to go home? Or…you were just overwhelmed at the crowd?”

 

He shook his head _no_ and turned to watch at Coldplay performing O. The crowd turned their phone’s flashlight on as instructed and waved it accordingly, creating a blanket of flickering lights upon the main stage. The mood was serene and as it was finished, the lead singer talked with the audience.

 

There were exchange of cheers and usual brief responses like _yes_ and _we do_. “Our university saved up a lot just to invite this band.” Johnny states _as a matter of fact_ at Taeyong, earning a chuckle from him. Kim mumbled that it should’ve been The Script who performed and it seemed like Johnny disapproves as the two engaged in an audible debate behind Taeyong and her. The band started to play, and this time Sparks is performed, one of their songs that could draw couples or friends closer, not even reluctant to get intimate with each other as the slow strums of guitar and beat of drum rings their ears.

 

Taeyong intertwined his slender fingers with hers, firmly holding it as his smile crept on his face, satisfied from the contact of her smooth palms against his rough ones. Y/N was too numb to be aware that Taeyong’s intertwining— _fucking intertwining his hands_ with hers. Seconds haven’t passed by yet and he can already feel his hand tightened by her grip, _admiring_ the small skin ship they did.

 

And moments after, it felt like the world has stopped—you name it. Because even if it makes you cringe at the thought, none among the two have dared to let go from their hold and she makes herself comfortable as she leans on his shoulder, still with their hands intertwined. The soreness of their legs from standing beyond two hours in the venue is not enough for them to stop, they were just in their little world for a good song duration but sometimes, good times will pass.

 

Because the moment she looked at him, she freed herself and ran away from him, Coldplay, the crowd and the vivid memories of her and him in their own little world.

 

\--

 

She arrived at the dormitory panting and hapless as she questions herself what she is for him. Irene marches out from the room with a disgruntled sleepy look, glaring at her. “It’s already midnight and you have the audacity to slam the door?” she cries in her sleepy voice.

 

Her roommate went to the bathroom to wash her face in an instant, staring at her reflection in the mirror as dark circles occupies below her eyes. Her complexion looks unhealthy from sleep deprivation she has due to quizzes and hands-on exams, and tears started to roll on her cheeks. She can see Irene peeking at her on the mirror and she swiftly wiped her tears as she turns to her.

 

“Sorry I interrupted your sleep. Really.” She looks down at her and later she started crying. Irene looks puzzled watching her friend in tears, hugging her as her drowsiness is gone. “What happened? Where’s Kim?”

 

Y/N inhales deeply, calming herself from excessive crying. “I don’t even know why am I crying in the first place,” she scrunches her nose, stuttering. “I don’t even know if-if I was only dreaming or n-not.”

 

Irene placed her arm on her back, walking her to their kitchenette. She hands her a glass of water to ease her crying roommate. After a couple minutes the door opened, revealing a panting Kim with sweat all over her back. Her face is shiny from the moist she had from the jam-packed crowd in the quadrangle. Irene looked at her and a small hint tings at her mind after seeing Kim’s look towards Y/N.

 

“You left me in the crowd, Y/N. But I understand.” Her look softens as she approaches her, rubbing her back in circles. “We saw it.” She confirms.

 

“I may not able to see him again. I embarrassed myself too much.” She pointed out. Kim sighed at her roommate and faced Irene. “They had a quite intimate moment with _you know who it is_.” Kim hinted.

 

“Taeyong, it is.” Irene answered, clicking on of the possibilities listed on her mind. “Tell me what happened.”

 

Y/N heaved a sigh, smiling at the least way possible as the short memory she had with Taeyong few hours ago remains fresh on her mind. She started narrating at how it happened. “Kim and I were only chilling at the acoustic booth when Taeyong dragged me together with his dog just to watch the student bands and Coldplay and we were engrossed at the sight of the band playing, reality hitting you that they’re playing live and when Sparks was played I wondered why someone locked fingers and I liked that feeling when I’m secured with someone else’s hold…

 

“And as the crowd hummed together in silence I wish I could freeze that moment hoping it would stay like that… But I have to wake up in reality because we’re only friends. And that’s it. I ran away and obviously, cried at both of you.”

 

It was already dawn and the kitchenette, as well as the room, remains in pure silent—not as dull or awkward or tensed, you name it. There was only plain silence as the three were awake, where the two was thinking out of concern and the other one spacing out blankly, like an empty area.

 

“Silence can somewhat heal and give a peace of mind,” Irene trails off, getting up from her seat to brush Y/N’s hair. “You decide what’s better for you and I hope you choose to focus on yourself first. Settle your remaining subjects before anything and anyone else. Okay? Let’s sleep now.”

 

Y/N craned her neck from her seat to see Irene’s assuring smile. She slowly nodded and drank a glass of water before going to their bedroom.

 

 

The two of them haven’t communicated and met for almost a month after their stupid reflexes realized they were intertwining their fingers while watching Coldplay performing Sparks. She was embarrassed of that act up until today, as he felt questionable of what he was thinking that night. He tried to call her what was wrong, although it was apparent that she didn’t want to see him after the close-to-intimate interaction they had, and he’s missing her as the day passes by.

 

Graduation day draws nearer and four of her classes have already finished, making her return at the university for less than half a day daily. For a span of three weeks, she spend her time studying and searching for potential studies to use on her thesis soon, and she hated the feeling that Taeyong appears out of blue in her mind the moment she indulge her attention to academics, until one night, she sprawled out in the little desk she bought and cried.

 

Kim saw her roommate crying, and her worry grew as she goes back in the dorm, gloomy and lonely unlike before. She went to the kitchen to bring a glass of water for her to calm down. “Hey buttercup, I can’t even stand watching you cry.” She placed the glass beside her and runs her hand through her hair. “I hope this will make you feel better.”

 

She wiped her tears as she bobbed her head and drank water. “Thank you.”

 

“I hope Irene gets here immediately so she can talk to you. She was waiting for you to cry though; she doesn’t want you to bottle up a lot of kept feelings there inside.” Kim points out her chest, worry still laced on her face.

 

-

 

Irene arrived at 8 in the evening, with enthusiasm as she held her defended thesis. Kim engulfed her in a hug since that’s what they always do when they celebrate each success, no matter how shallow or important it is. The mood inside the dorm suddenly shifted after seeing Y/N blankly staring at her notebook. Irene placed her thesis folder on the desk and hugged Y/N in comfort.

 

“Dark days come, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up.” She whispered, making Y/N awake from her thoughts. She lets out a breath and hugged the oldest so tight. “Please pester me with questions, maybe this time I can finally figure out what was actually on my mind.”

 

Irene only twitched a sympathetic smile and held Y/N’s hands. “Okay. So, did you liked it when he intertwined his hand to you?”

 

Y/N thought about it for a while, and shook her head yes. Irene smiled and continued. “Did your mind shifted to his presence everytime you’re in deep thoughts?”

 

She looked at her in disbelief, appalled at her psychic ability. “Yes.”

 

“Last question,” she squeezed her hands, “did you miss him already?”

 

And without doubt, Y/N slowly nodded. Kim and Irene looked at each other, exchanged their motherly smiles aside from the fact that Kim is the youngest among them in the room, and hugged their crying mess friend as they witnessed her expressing his true feelings for his friend from veterinary science.

 

“You like him, Y/N. Go tell him everything—confession or not, before he leaves this university.” Irene asserts, and once again, Y/N’s tears are rolling on her cheeks. The atmosphere was subtle and she was unrestrained to react. “I’m afraid I might tell him that I… I like him, because maybe—maybe he’ll get hefted about the situation and never communicate with me ever again.”

 

Irene huffed her hair on her face, chuckling at her roommate. “For real? Congratulate and send him encouragements for his next stage in life. You know, don’t make it transparent to him about how you felt for. Let’s say, show him the usual you.” She moved the scattered notebooks sideways and placed her arms, fiddling her fingers. Her motherly presence resonated the atmosphere, unbothered about Kim cramming about the dumplings she prepared in the kitchen.

 

“Sometimes you have to play safe in a situation where you think you’re skeptical to guess whether it may work or not, buttercup... if and only if, you hated the thought of rejection.

 

“But honestly, in your situation, based from what you narrated at us that night of how Taeyong dragged you together with his dog just to watch Coldplay and both of you were engrossed at the sight of the band playing, reality hitting you that they’re playing live and when Sparks was played you wondered why someone locked fingers and you liked that feeling when you’re secured with someone else…

 

“And as the crowd hummed together in silence you wanted to freeze that moment hoping it would stay like that… wow,” Irene pauses, stretching her arms as she narrated the story with gestures. She continued, “I memorized it well and I never thought before that engineering students have feelings also.”

 

“Hey sis, I heard that! That was funny!” Kim exclaims from the kitchen, prolonging ‘that’ in exaggerating way, her jolly voice and Irene’s joke changing the aura in the dorm. Kim brought the freshly fried dumplings, bringing it underneath Y/N’s nose. “You smell that right? Now eat this to gain strength, and don’t waste your tears for _tsunderes_ who’ll break your heart.”

 

\--

 

After hours of serious talks about academics, she went in a deep slumber hoping for positivity to take over her day as she decided to meet Taeyong.

 

If it wasn’t because of Taeyong intertwining his fingers with hers way back from university’s music festival, it’s either they’re fighting for Spooks or staying at the coffee shop, relishing the extra hours which was supposed for him to fixed his files and pending submissions required for graduation, and her to review for finals on her majors.

 

_Him_

 

He tried to reach out for her but failed miserably and it drives him crazy as he recalled what happened at the music festival, pinning the points which made her off and ran away from him, and never appearing after that day until today. Luckily, he’s done with thesis and his name was already printed for the candidacy of graduates.

 

Johnny told him before that both of them had their fingers intertwined; and she leaned at his shoulder as he squeezed her hand tight. He even joked about him and Jaehyun feeling disrespected when they saw the two of them being intimate and comfortable with each other, a sudden realization hitting them that they became their third-wheel companions.

 

It was no big deal after all, the mood was supposed to be perfect but she was awakened by her subconscious, making her escape from the venue.

 

“You better talk to her,” Johnny leaned on the couch’s arm, waiting for Taeyong to snap back at him since he was zoning out, “you’re graduating in less than a week.”

 

“Tomorrow,” he nodded, “I’ll try.”

 

\--

 

_Her_

 

She woke up in her bed, feeling desolated and unmotivated to get up, letting the gravity devour her on her bed until she heard a rattling sound coming from outside. She remains still, and seconds after Kim barged into the room, panting as she struggled to calm herself down. "I just saw Taeyong walking towards the dormitory and this is your chance to talk to him!" She exclaims, not letting a chance to relax as she talked. Y/N got up slowly from her bed, lazily walking to the bathroom.

 

-

 

"Remember what Irene said. Let him do the thing first." Kim ushers her friend to the dormitory's porch, leaving her with soft smile   as she goes back to their room. Y/N acted like nothing happened—she was walking at a normal pace and just as she reached the university garden, a familiar voice called her. She spun around to see Taeyong in black plain cotton tee and baggy pants. His hair was messy, oblivious that he just woke up and probably waiting for her to pass by since school of engineering's hall is quite far.

 

They stared at each other for a moment, and he broke the awkward silence. "It's been a while yeah? Sorry."

 

All she could respond was pulling off a smile from her taut lips. Unable to speak, she huffed out a breath as she cradled her books on her right arm due to its heavyweight.

 

Same thing goes for him as he was unable to add, resisting the urge to ask her what she felt that night during music festival. "Well," he scratched his nape, "graduation is already in 5 days and I hope you'll be able to go..." he trailed off, low key telling her to come because _he wanted to say sorry but honestly he badly needed to confess what he's been feeling for her_ , "before I leave this university."

 

"Well, I might be since Irene's going to graduate also and uh...Kim and I wanted to see and support her." She answered, her voice even barely audible for him.

 

Silence took over them again, wasting the time as it runs. This was the most awkward talk they had in their friendship, so staple and both of them are too immobile for interaction. As the minutes have passed by, the two became hesitant to talk, but gave up from the deafening silence by bidding their goodbyes in chorus. They parted ways, with words of wanting each other to meet again at graduation day and their bottled love for each other left unspoken.

 

\--

 

Today's the graduation day and the university quadrangle was already prepared for the graduating students to march, receive special awards, and bid farewells as they emerge to open another chapter of their lives. Irene's family came in full team, the three of them woke up early to prep their graduating roommate. Kim and her can't hide the excitement to witness their roommate marching wearing the black graduation gown with velvet red sash slung on her right shoulder, and they're doing their best now to make their oldest roommate more beautiful than she ever is, although it only requires a touch of concealers to hide her eye-bags, two strokes of blush brush since she looked unhealthily pale from sleep deprivation due to her thesis, and a smug of luscious red lipstick to match the sash's color.

 

"We can't wait to see you marching at the quadrangle!" Kim exclaims.

 

Irene bursts into a fit of giggles as she can't hide the excitement for today. Y/N watched her in adoration, and she suddenly thought if she would be able to graduate next year. "Hey loves, do you think I can make it next year?" She asked.

 

Kim looked at her reflection on the mirror. "Of course! You even advanced a class so I'm 100% sure you'll be able to graduate, unless if you want to accompany me and wait for another year instead." She winks, making Irene twists her knuckles and Y/N throws a makeup brush at her shoulder. They did her makeup at their bedroom as Irene's family waited on their mini living room.

 

Kim wore a navy blue laced dress and white flats, while Y/N wore a cream off-shoulder top inserted by light grey high-waist slacks and black flats, with her medium-length hair waving freely as she didn’t tie up her hair unlike the usual. Since the graduation happens at 3 in the afternoon, they wore a floppy sun hat to protect themselves from the sun's harmful afternoon rays.

 

-

 

Kim and her ushered Irene to the assembly line _because even at this age, Irene is still as bashful as she is even when she's surrounded by her acquaintances_. The two waved goodbyes at her and went to the visitor and family's seating area to wait for the graduates to march.

 

 

Time has passed by so fast that the school of arts graduates are in queue to march and Irene's parents geared up to take pictures of their daughter marching with pride etched on their faces. As the students marched, the sound of shutters from different cameras are simultaneously heard, trying to take the shot of their graduate love ones securely perfect. Irene marches through her family and her roommates' seats, and they silently cheered for her as she passed by.

 

-

 

The guest speaker has just finished his empowering and motivating speech to the graduates, which means the graduation ceremony is almost coming to an end. Some of the graduates are already in tears, not wanting for this moment to finish. Others were happy because _alas_ , we’re finally free from exams.

 

After singing countless hymns, the graduates tossed their caps as high as they could, and gradually dispersed as the ceremony has finished. Some of them ran to their families, and the rest are with their classmates, cheering at each other as they finally say, _we made it._

 

Irene ran to her parents as soon as they saw her and open their arms, engulfing her to a hug that costs 4 years of waiting for their daughter to finish her Bachelor of Arts degree in modern literature. Her roommates watched the family, the thought of their families waiting for them to finish their degrees made their tears involuntarily rolling down their cheeks, reality hitting them how homesick they are.

 

As soon as Y/N spun around, she was welcomed with Spooks wagging its tail in excitement because it missed her for already three months. She lowered her position to pet the dog while Kim was already shrieking, surprised at such a sight that also greeted her more than couple of months ago at their  room's front door. "Hey, this is the dog that I saw at our front door, Y/N!"

 

Spooks only barked in response as if he knows what she was talking about and the two bursts out in laughter, still amazed at the dog's reflexes from humans. Later, a familiar voice called Spooks. She looked up to see Taeyong, now with his hair bleached in neon green while holding his graduation cap. He smiled at her, a hopeful look in his eyes that at least today, they won't be awkward with each other just like the usual times they spent together.

 

Y/N held Spooks' leash, mirroring his smile. "You bleached your hair."

 

He moved closer as he touched his hair but she didn't dare to step away. "I lost in their bet. I got drunk and this was my punishment." He chuckled at the thought of him helplessly crying out for help as Johnny and Taeil mocking at him for he was full sober, confessing his love to Y/N while being cute in front of his two best friends two days ago.

 

She looked at him and pushed his shoulders. "Congrats, loser. Don't end up like joker okay? Break a leg on your next journey."

 

The two was in their own world, stealing eye-to-eye glances with each other, unbothered at what was happening around them. Kim went back to Irene and Spooks was well-behaved under Y/N's grip, and all of a sudden Taeyong pulled her close into a hug, her face buried at his collarbone. She was unable to move from the abrupt moment that happened, and she can already smell his strong scent of dew seeping through her nose.

 

"You better release me from your suffocating hug and cologne." She blurts out but unfortunately, he didn't dare to let her free.

 

"I'm going to miss you so much."

 

"Don't be. I am a big nuisance for you, actually."

 

She can feel his disapproval on top of her head. "We never talked for almost two months, let me enjoy this moment because I won't be able to make fun with you again." He mumbled.

 

And at that very moment, she realized that today she felt the distance for him.

 

She thought, _he hugged me because he won't be seeing me and crack up jokes with each other again_ , because all she's been thinking was-- _will he miss me because we won't be in each other's company anymore? Will he ever say those words that I badly wanted to hear from him?_

 

It stung her because as much as she wanted to confess at him first, she's too reserved and passive enough to what others may think or feel at her, the fear of rejection firmly holding her against her will to say _hey, do you know how much you mean to me?_ at him in this perfect opportunity.

 

 

Perhaps the only thing she could respond was giving him a disappointing look, provoking him if he felt the same as her or nothing at all, but to her subconscious' dismay, as he free her from the hug, she only gave him a reassuring smile.

 

"I have to go now. Irene's waiting for me. Farewell." She turn around after kissing Spooks' head and waving at him goodbye, the will to forget him was provided with such determination to do.

 

4 months after

 

_Him_

 

The gust of wind made him awake, realizing he slept at Johnny's tree house. It was cozy and stuffed with large bean bags, and Johnny brought them there for a mini reunion. They finished 3 cases of soju just by the three of them--him, Johnny and Taeil. The youngest in their squad, Jaehyun, couldn't make it since it's his last year in college and he needs to focus in academics, missing out the sober talk sessions of his older friends.

 

"Too bad our no. 1 drunkard is busy on his last year now, that little shit is mad serious about his dream becoming a chemist." Johnny blurts, his eyes still droopy as he sulks himself in the beanbag. Taeil climbed down already to check where his phone was, and Taeyong nodded at Johnny. "Yeah. I hope he sees Y/N. Maybe I can ask him how she was doing anytime we meet."

 

Johnny could only roll his eyes at his friend's early sentiments. "You know what the funny thing here is? You never asked her out but you're totally whipped at her. Man, you made such a wrong move during graduation day..." he trails off and clicks his tongue. "So stupid."

 

Taeyong heaved a sigh, forcedly reminiscing at such a painful memory. "She never felt the same as me, I guess it's a tie."

 

No matter how sober Johnny remains, his boisterous laughter had echoed throughout the tree house, inconceivable at his friend's comment. He tried hard to get rid of his laugh as he tones down, sparing a moment to calm himself down. He looked at Taeyong with wonder and shook his head. "Don't you both know how painfully obvious you are to each other? Damn, do I have to bring Jaehyun here to count with me together the times you were both obvious to each other."

 

"What."

 

"You still have her number right? Text her." Johnny commands. Taeyong fished out his phone in an instant and dialed her number. The network's caller agent addressed him that his caller is unavailable.

 

"It's obvious that our country never misses out a signal strength so that means, she's got a new phone number, dumbass. You're too late."

 

He left Taeyong alone in the tree house, and Taeyong wasn't in a mood to cry.

 

6 months later

 

Taeyong decided to proceed in medical school this semester instead of next year so he organized the requirements to apply for medical school. He was brought by bad news after knowing that the university's medical school is located on another campus, which means he couldn't meet her.

 

He messaged Jaehyun how he was doing, and he only replied _everything’s kinda fine but slightly having a hard time_ at his one major since it was mixed with higher calculus. He was about to ask Y/N for help but someone told him that most engineering seniors move to media laboratory or automotive workplace, depending on what department they belong.

 

Suddenly, he remembered Johnny's bicker at Y/N last time when he was admitted in the hospital that they would've met the infinitesimal way possible if it wasn't because of Spooks, and fear crept him that it's happening now.

 

He badly wanted to tell her how much she means to him.

 

8 months later

 

He saw her at his campus, along with her classmates pushing large cases, probably for the upcoming event hosted by Intel. He figured out that she along with the team is competing for the inter-university robotics competition so they collaborated with the students from higher degrees as representatives for said competition.

 

-

 

The competition is held at a field and is an hour away from the university to drive. Despite from the tight schedules he has, he sacrificed to drive to the Intel field where the competition takes place. As he sat on the bleachers, he saw his university's team setting up the two robots in the booth provided, easily spotting Y/N since she always stands out the most.

 

She remains the precious gem that he has, and hopefully one day, he'll be able to say it in front of her.

 

Their university ends up in second place, and he went to congratulate them. Unfortunately, the doctoral and masters students were left since the youngest team had to return back to the university for their thesis proposal.

 

10 months later

 

Johnny was the one who has to wake him up, reminding him about the graduation. Taeyong got up as fast as he could, and prepared himself as he promised to take this time as his final chance to profess his love to her. He arrived at the university quadrangle an hour before the graduation and waited for the graduates to march, especially Jaehyun and Y/N.

 

The graduates have settled according to their school, making the school of sciences to march first in the aisle. As Jaehyun passed by the row where Taeyong is currently standing, his best friend cheered at him in silence, his right hand equipped with his phone as he filmed him. He waited for two more schools until the school of engineering was in already in queue.

 

There were few graduates who marched in the said school so it was easy to spot Y/N, and there he saw her flawlessly marching with the same graduation gown he wore last year, rocking her new pixie haircut and she looked at the other direction where her parents were standing. He can't keep his eyes off from her as she continues to walk until she reached for her seat.

 

After handing out certificates and special awards to the graduates, and singing the university's hymn, the graduation ceremony has finally ended and the university has produced another batch of incoming professionals as they tossed their caps, prior to the strength they poured out.

 

The ritual followed after, wherein the graduates run to their parents and hug them worth out of the years they sacrificed as they journeyed to test their mental, emotional and social capability, as well as developing themselves to become independent as they were mandated to mature in order for preparation in the world of employment.

 

Taeyong went through the crowd of graduates as he finds Y/N and he stopped as he saw her talking to a man dressed in executive tux and her school's dean, wearing a red graduation gown with two strokes of black etched on it. He waited for a while until someone pokes him, turning to see Jaehyun flashing his dimple smile as he bumped his shoulder.

 

"You came today! I'm sorry I wasn't able to attend your graduation last year. We had an early internship training at the south, and I feel bad that time though." He said as he wrapped his arm around Taeyong's shoulder.

 

"Doesn't matter anyway, you can make it up after two years. If you can't still attend then that's the time I'm going to kick your ass." Taeyong ruffled his hair, and glancing back to the stage where he saw Y/N, she's nowhere to be found.

 

Jaehyun saw the sudden shift of Taeyong's expression as he looked at the stage. Curiosity killed the cat, he asked out of concern. "Is there a problem?"

 

Taeyong could only stifle a bitter laugh. "I'm a shitty friend." He heaves out a deep sigh and closed his eyes. Jaehyun deciphered what he meant, and realized what it was right after he felt a bump on his right palm.

 

Her.

 

He picked the small cloth bag from his pocket that Y/N gave to him during assembly, and handed it over to Taeyong. "She gave this to me while we assembled at the back... and told me to hand this over to you as soon as I meet you because she thought you won't be coming over today.

 

"And she added that you should open the bag as you reach home." Taeyong received the bag carefully and instantly spotted the small cardboard with his name written on her architect-like handwriting, his gaze dropped as he feel the rough texture of the bag. Jaehyun could only muster a sympathetic smile, unable to comfort his best friend since he just graduated.

 

He kept the bag on his pocket as if it's the most delicate thing he has ever handled and patted Jaehyun's back before they turn around to walk towards his parents. "Your parents must've been waiting for you. Let's go."

 

\--

 

Taeyong was the highlight of their sober session night because that was the night where they witnessed his dramatic rants and almost created a havoc at Jaehyun's house rooftop. His tears are burning his eyes as he screamed profanities at dawn, the rest of his best friends freeing him what he wanted because that's the help they could only offer.

 

At 2 in the morning, they fell silent after reaching the climax of the sober session, falling into the denouement with peace, thanks to Taeil and his sweet, melodic and smooth voice. The four of them passed out after they shared serious talks about their lives, how college and their course changed their entirety, and fighting the fear of rejection in applying for work.

 

\--

 

Taeyong woke up first among them and silently bid goodbye as he made his way downstairs, returning to his home. He fished out his car keys and as soon as the engine revved, he immediately drive.

 

He arrived at home after 10 minutes and it was the fastest time he covered since Jaehyun's house is quite distant from his. His parents aren't home since they were on vacation abroad, so he went inside with a heavy heart knowing that he failed to commit his promise.

 

Letting his body exerted by the gravity's force, he let himself fall on the couch as he took out Y/N's cloth bag. He panic almost rushed into him before he dug his hand on his pocket as he remembered the craze he caused last night, hoping that he never dismantled or torn the gift that she gave to him.

 

He slid the bag open, revealing a box and a letter attached inside. Opening the box, he felt his heart dropped after seeing two polaroid films of Y/N leaning at his side when he was drunk, and a picture of him as he squatted and flashing his crinkled smile, with Spooks underneath him wearing the apparel she knitted for the dog during university week. He stared at the pictures for good two minutes, and opened the folded letter, neatly written by her engineer-like penmanship with her bold black ink pen.

 

" _PB._

_Keep these two pictures as they mean them a lot to me. Thank you so much for being such a great friend, companion and crying shoulder. It was a waste not knowing you earlier just as I admitted in the university five years ago, too bad that we only shared 7 months of friendship because your dog is just as adorable and friendly as you._

_The stars may die and reborn, but for me they never do, because you're constantly shining and I hope you won't lose that sparkle engraved in your soul because that's what made you so eternally charming and you deserve so much happiness. You're like that one formula that I always use the most because you won't be easily forgotten and is functional in every problems that I solve. I love you from the atoms that build my cells and I hope I have a memory kept on your heart and mind. The stupid and sweet moments we shared will always have a place in my heart and soul, and I wish you the happiness as I can't provide you the things you wanted for that's why I was afraid. I'm so sorry that we end up hanging, but I hope you don't have to worry about me as I am ready to face trials in my next chapter of life. Who knows, someday we may be able to meet again and hang out just like before._

_I love you, and will always be, my adorable idiot with panini brows, Lee Taeyong. I hope you do the same for me too._

_From your nerdy friend,_

_Y/N_ "

 

The bottom part of the letter was stained already from his tears, and he keeps it close to his chest as the alcohol manipulates his body to release more tears, hugging his knees as he leaned on the couch.

 

She loves him...so much.

 

He can't stop blaming himself for making her so passive about their friendship because _they_ almost happened.

 

If only he had the guts to pull her closer during music festival and confessed at her straight to her face, they would've been together by now, enjoying each other's company as she is his and he is hers. He's a coward and almost swore to never forgive himself.

 

It was only they realized they're not meant for each other after that day they felt the distance.


End file.
